You are my Hope

I know how I go on and on about how this Hillsongs conference has really blessed me so much. But another one thing that I must share is about how God spoke to me in one of the sermons preached by Pastor Jantzen Franklin about the Covenant of Sure Mercies.

I guess for those of you who do know me know that I don't think the world of my family. And if anything my home is the last place that I want to spend my waking hours. In fact, I used to tell people that I've got a dysfuncational family with my nag you to dead mom, can't care less dad, self absorbed and arrogant brother and my sis is okay, heh. And the most disturbing part of my childhood is seeing the things that gone through between my parents. Mom attempting to run away form home, being sucidal as my dad cursing and swearing at her, dad who don't care about the family and got himself into this sorry state. And I really use to hate him to the core and I used to feel that I have every reason to, and why not with the used to treat my mom, the family and how my mom also thinks he's sucha bum too. I have jyst so many issues with him, how he is, what he does, how he thinks... we're just like opposites that can't stand each other. In fact I use to tell God, you see how he is, how can I love him, how can I repect him.

At times I will think that it's because of them that I don't have more in life, more love, more acceptance, more attention, more opportunities... and I would feel short changed in life because of them. LIke if they were more spiritual, then I'll have a better foundations in my youth and if they were sincere christians then I will have them to look up to. Please don't get my intentions wrong, I'm not trying to put down my parents. Bt this is the real me, with my real family struggles and pains. So with all these at the back of my mind, I sat through the preaching and tears just rolled as we ended in prayer.

His message in a capsule is that we can store for our next generation mercy and give them a spiritual heritage so that we lay for them a foundation early in life so that they can never get rid of God in their life. AND that's not all, if the generation before me didn't store up mercy for me, I can do it for them as I store for my next generation. And at that I just broke down within me, that it doesn't matter what they cannot do for me, but what I can do for them NOW. And God just pointed out all these bad attitude and I know better than you mentality and in such a gently and loving manner that it made me felt so small and want to ask him for his forgiveness . And from then on, I have always prayed that my parents would return to the Father.

Last Saturday, I invited my parents for CP's 18th anniversay service, half expecting them to give some excuses not to go(what faith!??!) but something in me also thinks that they might just go. And so I just asked and they actaully agreed, PTL! So I became more bold and prayed for God to touch them, to be their God of Salvation, God of Healing and God of joy and peace. When I got up on Sunday, I just prayed that they will not change their mind and give God a chance to touch them. Thanks for the prayer warriors too. And they did make it to church! And the most beautiful thing was when my mom agreeded to go to the altar, though with apprehension and fear at first, but I knew that she just had to go down to the altar to get prayed for and for God to touch her. God did his thing and she was touched and more importantly, she has decided to come for church and am encourging her to join a cell group where she can grow. PTL!!
 
So here I am to say this, don't give up on your family. For me, it's just the beginning of a new chapter in my family life. It might not always be easy to love, to honour and respect, but I just gotta do it coz it honours God and I just want to do things that puts a smile on His face.
 
And even when you think that it's so impossible for God to invade your family, He is a God of impossibles and He is a God of Hope. My Hope.