Sigh, find that I've been very discontented. Discontented with work, with standard of living, with the mess in my house, with my body, with my lack of sleep, lack of free time....
But I wonder if it's because I'm too idealistic. The desire in me to be the modern mom who still has a great career, who can handle a job in the day, be a great mom in the evening, can cook, can clean and have everything. But as I struggle to find my source of happiness I end up feeling quite the opposite.
And it didn't help that work was just crappy this week and I had to work late for so many evenings just to clean up s#$@. As a result, I feel so tired and worn out by the end of the day that even my patience with my two babies is wearing thin.
I hate feeling this way. I need to focus on the things in life that really matters. And it starts with eliminating the things that steal my time, my energy. That's why technology, or more specifically my iPhone is such a distraction sometimes. No doubt, it has brought me so much more convenience and entertainment, it has also kept me from the things that I should do or things that I enjoy more. At the same time, if I want to make my life more enriching, more satisfying, I have to start changing my mindset. Stop complaining and start making a change.
Belt out, *I'm starting with the man woman in the mirror, I'm asking her to change her ways...
Don't we have have such struggles to be a better person? I know I do... But I'll get better, I know I will. So please help me God.
