Independence

Being attached makes me feel that Alexis has to be involved in every part of my life. But I guess to a certain extent, I still gotta learn independence, being on my own. I sometimes feel so needy of him, to have his approval and to know he's walys there. But maybe he cant always be there, there may be there when we dun see eye to eye. Ultimately, I am still me, with or without him. No that I dun want him in my life, but I cant rely on him for everything.

And at the end of the day, I have to see that my value in who I am should not be abt what I think I am, how I feel I am, how I look and all. My identity should be from God and God alone. I am wonderfully and fearfully made! I have to learn how to love myself for being me. I dun have to look for approval from others. I am contented...I am, I am, I am...

*Ring Ring*

I wanna new handphone! Check this out. Nice phone ah. Wanted to get Samsung A800, but the price dun seem to be dropping. Nokia seems like a good choice one. This one comes with colour screen, polyphonic ringing tone and can even add additonal camera!

ARGH!!!

I have so much to rant about.

1) My brother has no life! Like seriously no life. Kk not that he has no life, but it ALL revolves around his stupid game, called renewal. Why do I know? When I'm away he even uses my computer to play it . That's additional to his own computer! And you know what's the worst? He even calls home when he's out to ask me to play for him! He's so crap. Full of utter crap!!

2) I still have to study for my Finance test. Did I mention that my lecturer was also my poly lecture at SP? But I think he's better teaching there. Why? Well.. to put it kindly he's better there. But at this level, he doesn't seem to know his stuff. Whatever, ... argh I still have to study!

3) I'm so fat. What an understatment! BLAH....

Time for dinner....

Get in Shape

TYPE 2 Endomorph
Endomorphs generally have a more rounded body shape, storing body fat around the waist, hips and thighs. They tend to have a slower metabolism and can gain weight easily. (Darn!)

Suddenly I am so motivated to get in shape aka LOSE WEIGHT!! Well I'm not exactly what you'll call slim. Bugs the helloutta me. Anyway after Cindy sent me Victoria's latest swimsuit catalog with all the insy tiny winy bikinis I am so gonna lose weight. This probably makes me sound like a dumb bimbo. Oh well.. who cares. Anyway it's also called keeping fit. Food is very and I stress very important to me. So I wouldn't go to the extent of starving myself but it's gonna be a lot of work out. I picked up skipping. But I dun know how many skips must you jump to be effective? 10000? Haha (no and Alexis didn't say I was fat, else I'm gonna smash him. *evil laughter*)

..::My work out plan for next week::..
Monday: Swim and tan (sun better be out)
Tuesday: Skip rope
Wednesday: Jog at Ponggol Park
Thursday: Rest
Friday: ?
Saturday: ?
Sunday: In-line skating

I wonder how many of these will I do. I am not a very highly motivated person..HAHA
My mantra: "LOSE WEIGHT, LOSE WEIGHT, LOSE WEIGHT, LOSE WEIGHT, LOSE WEIGHT!"

Reality TV

I'm a big and I mean BIG, HUGE ALL TIME fan of reality TV. The person who introduced it to me is Alexis, who over the years is not such a fan now. It started off with Survivor, then the Amazing Race, then Temptation Island, Fear Factor, The Bachalor, and the most recent Joe Millionaire. Why I dig them so much is coz you get to know people's thoughts, their true motivations and all.. Of course with different shows, it's a different game plan all together. Of course, the part where the contestants lie, stab, gossip and plot against each other which is the most drama and hilarious!

So happy with Joe Millionaire's ending. Oh you can catch it on channel 5 think sometime in April. Shall not post a spoiler, just in case you wanna watch it!

50 Questions

1. Your name spelled backwards. nasuS
2. Where were your parents born? Both In Singapore
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Nothing..
4. What's your favorite restaurant? Oh plenty, there's Fish & Co, Swensons, NYDC, Sakae Sushi, Jerrys..
5. Last time you swam in a pool? Maybe about a month
6. Have you ever been in a school play? Yes
7. How many kids do you want? Two, one boy, one girl
8. Type of music you dislike most? Techno! So Beng..*pukes*
9. Are you registered to vote? I'm of legal age if that's what it means
10. Do you have cable? Yes.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Har?
12. Ever prank call anybody? Not exactly prank. But in sec school, me and my ger frens would call up the guys our friend like and grill them
13. Ever get a parking ticket? No. Hardly Almost never drive
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? I would like to try both!
15. Furthest place you ever traveled. Australia
16. Do you have a garden? Nope
17. What's your favorite comic strip? Baby Boom
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Showers only, can be morns or night
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Life or something like that, staring J Lo. (downloaded it)
21. Favorite pizza topping? Salami
22. Chips or popcorn? Popcorn
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? pink tones
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? No, how do you do that?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Are you kidding?
26. Orange or Apple juice? Orange.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? Alexis, KFC (as usual, if it's not Mac, LJS or BK).
28. Favorite type chocolate bar? Hershey's Cookies and Cream
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? Havent voted yet
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Don't like tomato
31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes. Unbelievable?
32. Are you a good cook? I can't cook a lot of stuffs, but those that I can, I think its' alright
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Yes and I'm proud of that :)
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? Nope
35. Sprite or 7-up? 7-up but I perfer Coke!
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Not working yet
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Cough, Flu and Fever medicine
38. Ever throw up in public? I really cant recall
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? I would love to be a millionaire and find my true love. (BTW do catch Joe Millionaire when it's out!)
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, though it don't seem to happen much in reality
41. Ever call a 1-900 number? Yeah, for charity calls
42. Can ex's be friends? Depends, but it's better not to
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? Victor's Mom
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Average I think.
45. What message is on your answering machine? None
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? This must be an American thing
47. What was the name of your first pet We dun name them.
48. What is in your wallet? Very little money, cards of all sorts, panadol, calendar, receipts
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Talk to Alexis
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? I don't have a headache ;)

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My Plan for Today

I'm bored by the mere though of studying...so decided to do a timetable for myself
2:00 - 4:30 Study Finance ( Have a test next Thurs)
4:30 - 6:00 Do DPP project
6:15 - 6:45 Go for short jog
7:00 - 9:00 Dinner, Watch TV, Laze around
9:00 - 10:00 Study Finance
10:00 - 12:00 Watch Taxi

Don't seem like I'm goona be much. K I better get off my comp... bye

Am I missing it?

You know these few day with all the mad rush with projects and all, I feel kinda empty inside. Like something is lacking. As I sat alone on a bus reading this book Boy Meets Girl, it really triggered a lot of thoughts in me. Oh and did I mention it was raining? Somehow if you put me on a bus and when it's raining I tend to get pretty reflective. Not all the time, cause sometimes I might take the chance to catch 40 winks. Anyway besides just thoughts about my relationship with Alexis, alot had to do with my walk with God. It's been pretty dry. But not to a point where it's non-existant. Just at a point where it could be abit lot better. And somehow this is like so important. It totally affects everything else about me. Like my mood, my emotions, my thoughts, my actions. It's also a perspective thing. Coz I can swing from being an optimist to a pessimist, not a very healthy thing I know.

I gotta get it back.
I gotta know what I'm living for.
I gotta know what I want in life.
I gotta learn from my mistakes.
I gotta keep growing.
I gotta see the light.

At the end, I want my life to count for something.

~After Thoughts on Valentine's Day~

Valentine's Day came and went. How did you celebrate yours? Do you feel that such a day is overly commercialzed? But isnt that the point? I bet it was the florist idea to have such a day anyway since they are the ones with the cash register going *kaching kaching*. I hate to be drawn in but hey who cares, I had fun too.

..::Memoriable Moments::..
* Roses from Alexis
* Alexis likes his personalized card
* Shopping for presents
* Dinner for two of us only
* Enjoying sunset together
* Memories caught on flim

Price of Valentine's Day : Priceless...

Sense of relief

Feeling much better at this point in time. This morning nearly pulled my hair out coz I was having sucha terrible headache. Even got to the point where I was wondering could I be having brain tumor. Yah yah touch wood. But just for your information, headache is one of the most common ailment that I suffer from like since forever. When I was younger I would cry and cry because it bothered me so much. My grandma would brew me all sorts of chinese medicine and tonic and herbs, from pigs brain (yuck) to tablets. Man it was that bad. Anyway like I said, I've been having these very bad headaches especially in the mornings and especially when the sun's out and it's so glaring. That reminds me, I need sunglasses too. And having all the stress of my unfinished projects, plus computer not cooperatng by hanging time and time again really made me feeling like hanging myself too. Yah I dun really handle stress well too :P

Anyway I'm much much better now. One project done, one less burden, one less worry, one less stress.

..:Day of R&R:..

From my blog it probably shows how busy I have been. These days I have been waking up to headaches. Like the moment I wake up I get it. Not exactly the best feeling in thw world to wake up to. Thats why I have been dreading mornings and every waking moment.

Today had quite a relaxed day. Woke up at 10:30 then had lunch at Jerry's BBQ and Grill with Alexis, Denise, Jocelyn and Francis. The restaurant is located at ulu Jalan Kayu. Heard about this place from my cousin and heard they have authetic American meals. I enjoyed the food alot, especially their Deep Fried Mushroom. Really unique dish and in fact they have won a few culinary award for this years for a few years! Definately worth trying. Their buffalo wings was alright, not as great. But they have it in different speciy intensity, maybe the spicer the better! My main course, which is half a BBQ chicken was really satisfying. Nice and tender and juicy. Had a bit of Alexis fish and chips. Well their specialty is in steak and bbq stuff so the fish and chips were alright. We all felt kinda stuffed after the meal, not forgetting two plates of appetizers. Totally stuffed.... Alexis would definatly agree to that. Haha

After all that food, I didn't feel very industrious and decided to watch Spy Kids 2. It's the typical sequel turned blah kinda show. Which was no surprise that I fell asleepy halfway. The 2nd half of the show was alright, but definaltely not worth the watch. After the show, really couldn't take it and just took another nap. By the time I woke up it's already 8. After stoning in front of tv and then computer, the day's gone...

What a day....But at least not too wasted ;P

Buried in Projects

School work is getting busy. Projects upon projects of this and that. My engine havent seem to get warmed up but tomorrow, tomorrow's gonna be the start of it all! Will sit down and start racking my brains over it all. In case you noticed that I spilled my brains let me know. SIngapore is a FINE city you know, even if i drop my brain juice also must clear. Crap crap, I'm sprouting crap. I'm outta here. *phoof*

*Tuesday's This-Or-That* (About Sleep)

1. Morning or night person? Definately not morning person. I like to sleep in...
2. Heavy or light sleeper? Depends on how tired I am
3. Remember your dreams or not? Not alot, but I do, esp the wierd ones
4. Do you need a lot of sleep, or just a little? 7 hours normally
5. Do you need something like a nightlight or TV to sleep, or do you prefer complete darkness? I dun like noise when I sleep. A little light is alright
6. Flannel sheets or some other kind? Hmm??
7. One pillow, or more? Alot plus PPG dolls and bolster
8. Bedroom door opened or closed at night? Closed
9. Wrap yourself into blankets like a cocoon, or just cover yourself with them? My feet must be covered, tend to be wrapped like a cocoon esp when the air-con is on
10. Alarm clock: wake to music or buzzer? *RINGZZ*

*~~Ba Nian~~*

These two days I've been out on customary or traditional visiting to relatives place bringing along my mandarin oranges and collecting my ang pows. Chinese New Years are pretty fun time to catch up with relatives and friends, especially those whom you dun meet very often. No pigging out for me this year coz of my condition, sore throat and cough. Not much fun but could be a blessing in disguise since I'm supposed to watch my weight. But seriously this year, I have not been eating enough hao liao. Except for my Grandma's Best in the World lunch (as quoted by my sister). Today went to Church and went back home for more visting. Went to my cousin's place and I tried my hand at beyblade! Haha how in I am now :P Then went on to be mentally challenged playing Scrabble. I recall playing this like 2 or 3 years back with my cousins at CNY too.

Anyway tomorrow's gonna be more relaxed, mainly going to friends place to visit. Better get my rest and recover fast!!